colours

ok today we're gonna learn abt colours. im so tired right now i took pyro on my bed so i dun haf to sit and can stretch instead.so now colours. today the colours are...

red. now what does red represent? for today, it does not represent anger. today, red for embarrassment. oh just a little itsy bitsy bit of anger coz my friend was late just now.enough now.

yellow. representation? puky feeling. enough said.

blue. happy, victorious feeling coz i managed to skate and not fall. even tho my skating is damn bad. enough said.

purple. thats for the injuries. and the pain.

finally, green. now what does green represent? oh ive been using the wrong word. what does green symbolize? give u a clue. green with ....? if u dun get it, too bad. perhaps next time can ask me i'll clarify.

today got a lot of green.not much yellow but more green. i dunno why. feelings. its not like u can stop them. now why do i get a lot of green today? anyone want to make a good guess? hmm...

so anyway, green. its really unintentional. its a reaction. so in other words, its not an intended reaction. why did i feel so green? hmm...perhaps depression was kicking in. oh depression is too huge a factor. no its not depression that kicked in. it was something else. something that i have yet to give a name for. so it kicked in.

this feeling. at times its not there. but sometimes there are things that triggers this feeling. then suddenly i feel that its there. then my mood will change a bit. and then i will start to think. and think. and think. (maybe thats why i got a THINKpad.lame.ha ha.)

can i blame them? no i can't. its not THEIR fault. its not fair to blame ppl that way.

haiz....too much green today. perhaps its not time yet. someday. i guess. i don't know.

disappointment? perhaps? harrumph...

if u dunno wad im toking abt its ok. perhaps u don't need to know. its not necessary information.i just need to let it out.

so today we create history. skating for the first time. and its the first time u lovebirds walk home with me as lovebirds. good thing ima was there.

on a quite impt note for u lovebirds, i'm sorry i kinda reacted immaturely to that "visual feast". it was an immediate reaction, something i did before i think. it was not necessary and it was immature. therefore i am sorry. to u both. i keep saying that i need time to get used to this but it has already been 3 mths. so there has got to be another reason behind this childish behaviour. a reason that i perhaps might know. or i might be wrong. i probably don't know y i acted that way. but i DO know of one possibility that i obviously will keep to myself. nevertheless, i want to apologize. actually to all 3 of u. ham and fin bcz of how i reacted. i think it was a really bad thing to do. and ima sorry u had to tahan me. i could have kept it to myself, but no...i dragged u in.

well i guess thats it from me.

ima: gal i really missed u leh. it was somehow nostalgic when we got together just now. i talk to u everyday online yet when i meet u i realized i missed u seh. haiz....enough said.lebih lebih nanti kang ape pulak fz cakap.

line of the day: "some people are lucky coz there's always someone who likes them and they know it.information revolution."

now u may disagree with what i said. but as for now, i'm not gonna be swayed to the other direction.

thats all from me for today. hope to see/hear from y'all soon.thank you and good night.

by: the last one standing. aka the only one left. aka the one still waiting. aka the one who "don't know what it is, how could (I) know what it's like. [Socrates]"