+.. .. ..Have YOU Ever.. .. ..+

Remember HID, I told u I do not why this song always kind of put me into a daze. Well, I would love to share it with Fyn too coz I did my own soul searching with this song being play over and over again throughout the night till my hp went flat without I knowing it (coz I was asleepp by then)

There were many times I should said I wanted to let go of this relationship I had shared with Fz. Especially moments when we quarrelled real BAD. The tears and the eyes that were swollen and the heart that is aching and you can actually felt it aching in you. And when it caused you sleepless nights and when it can actually made your life topsy turvy and made you lose your appetites and you just do not care about any other things but to try to get to him and try to understand him as much as you and end of it, you just blame yourself for not being the best girlfriend he could have ever get and could have been this or that girl better for him and telling him that why dont he just leave me and go find a better girl out there that DESERVE him.

Sometimes

It's wrong to walk away

Though you think it's over

Knowing there's

So much more to say

Suddenly the moment's gone

And all your dreams

Are upside down

And you just

Want to change the way

The world goes round

There were times where I really was so reckless due to insufficient sleep and my mind was nothing but HIM, half part of me trying to get in touch with him through my hp and at the same time doing my project till I deleted my whole programming project in the school PC, deleting it meaning deleting it from the whole pc and server of the school and I was too tired to check twice what I was doing and ending up I have to redo whatever programming I had done for the past 5-7 weeks within 2-3weeks and shortly after that, I was warded in hospital coz I was having a high fever on and off and the result of it - REPEAT my that particular module -

Im not saying it is his fault to put me in that state. BUT all im saying this kind of thing happened and the best part is it affected my OWN LIFE. And I should have said, THANKS AR! But I just put the whole blame on me coz I clicked the wrong thing but the whole thing is here..it was a problem between us that was in the head and it was dragged for many days and I couldnt take it. If Im not wrong, that was once of the 4-5 times where we actually thought of separating.

Have you ever loved

And lost somebody

Wished there was a chance

To say I'm sorry

Can't you see

That's the way I feel about you and me

Have you ever

Felt your heart

Was breaking?

Looking down the road

You should be taking I should know

'Cause I loved and

Lost the day I let you go

I wanted to say sorry but to say it to you was so tough that I almost gave up on us. BUT I know very well I LOVE HIM and I could not let him go. I fought for him and I worked my way up to get his attention and win him. How can it be possible whereby I felt so broken and he is not. It is a lie I could say coz I can feel his heart breaking too. How could we let go of each other?

Can't help but think

That this is wrong

We should be together

Back in your arms

Where I belong

Now I finally realise

It was forever

That I found I'd give it all to

Change the way

The world goes round

Yeah, so I realised it was all wrong all this time round. And for him to realise it need some knock in the head and most of the time it was us who want to be with each other again. It is where I belong. I want to make it till i step into my golden years. Everytime we fought we knew that we learnt something from it and we made sure we pull each other up to move side by side to the future. And when we turned to the past together, we will smile for our silly attitude and just grab that hand of ours and gave it a squeeze sayin i will be here for you till you do not want me anymore.

really want to

Hear you say

That you know

Just how it feels

To have it all and

Let it slip away

Can't you see I know the moment's gone

I'm still holding on somehow

Wishing I could

Change the way

The world goes round

I almost let him go the last time we had the big quarrel.ALMOST is the word. The pain in my heart when he kept asking me to let him go. Only GOD noes! But I was holding on to him and every moments that is so meaningful to us. Im GLAD I didnt let him go. Im glad I was the ONE who picked him up and be by his side when it was to him, the lowest point of his life at that particular moment. I am glad that it was not over between us.

I believe so much that we are meant for each other.

BUT..

IF God has something else for me in future and that I have yet to know,

I just hope you all, my friends, will be here for me coz that is when every brick to my wall of strength and hope is demolish and has gone down and all you see is a piece of heart that has shatter into pieces waiting to fall to the ground.

FOR NOW..

God, If YOU are listening..Let it be just this way for me and him.

I LOVE HIM

Truly

Sincerely

Honestly

From this piece of heart that YOU have lent to me while Im on this place called EARTH. Fz, If he ever read this, I just want him to know, He mean so much for me that I could not bear to be apart from him and that I want to thank him for loving me this way, this long and till as far as we can go together to the future.

LOVE FZ

+.. Ima ..+