. . .Writin my BLUES away
. . .Writin my BLUES away
Im feelin rather blue now. Hid may noe why. But anyway, Im writing it in here so fina will noe abt it too. But the whole point is here, i just wana write my BLUES away from me. Coz at least it helps me feel better after letting it all out rather then me fighting and handle this sadness on my own.
My day was okie you know. Meeting you guys and had our breakfast! Nothin wrong happened to me. The breakfast is digesting right now in my tummy. I went home and like usual, followed as plan, study for my Java Exam. Den went out again for awhile to buy tickets, go library and i got 4 solid malay NOVEL! Im oredi through half way on one novel oredi now.
Im blue coz I felt like Fz besarkan family dia more than care less about me and my feelings. As in his family is much more importance to him rather than me. I know i sound very cruel and not fair to him but I duno why i felt hurt by it somehow and im handling it alone now coz im not telling him about it. I just hope i can understand him better somehow.
Example: Just a simple thingy today. I saw on his handphone wallpaper a picture of his second brother. And i just felt so jealous about it. I mean his brother is not toddler dat is so cute to watch over. Come on man, he is like 21 yrs old?! And his pic is on the wallpaper of his handphone.
I asked him juz now thru sms. Why? Why a pic of him? Why not other pic? Den you know whats is his reply?
Kan recently he aru masuk tekong. I just felt worry for him. So i just put his pic there.
I wish so hard i can understand that that is him you know. He being the eldest and its all about instincts thingy and dats why he is into his family and he said, in future, he will be like dat to our family as in him and me living in a house and will be more into me like how he is now to his family.
His answers is so logical to me. But i duno why on my part, i just dunwan to be dat understanding towards him. Aiz. . . Im such a terrible bitch. aiz! I know lah my family not like him, so happy and all. But i shudnt be feeling this way seh. Wat a ASSHOLE i am! aiz. . . .
Im feelin rather blue now. Hid may noe why. But anyway, Im writing it in here so fina will noe abt it too. But the whole point is here, i just wana write my BLUES away from me. Coz at least it helps me feel better after letting it all out rather then me fighting and handle this sadness on my own.
My day was okie you know. Meeting you guys and had our breakfast! Nothin wrong happened to me. The breakfast is digesting right now in my tummy. I went home and like usual, followed as plan, study for my Java Exam. Den went out again for awhile to buy tickets, go library and i got 4 solid malay NOVEL! Im oredi through half way on one novel oredi now.
Im blue coz I felt like Fz besarkan family dia more than care less about me and my feelings. As in his family is much more importance to him rather than me. I know i sound very cruel and not fair to him but I duno why i felt hurt by it somehow and im handling it alone now coz im not telling him about it. I just hope i can understand him better somehow.
Example: Just a simple thingy today. I saw on his handphone wallpaper a picture of his second brother. And i just felt so jealous about it. I mean his brother is not toddler dat is so cute to watch over. Come on man, he is like 21 yrs old?! And his pic is on the wallpaper of his handphone.
I asked him juz now thru sms. Why? Why a pic of him? Why not other pic? Den you know whats is his reply?
Kan recently he aru masuk tekong. I just felt worry for him. So i just put his pic there.
I wish so hard i can understand that that is him you know. He being the eldest and its all about instincts thingy and dats why he is into his family and he said, in future, he will be like dat to our family as in him and me living in a house and will be more into me like how he is now to his family.
His answers is so logical to me. But i duno why on my part, i just dunwan to be dat understanding towards him. Aiz. . . Im such a terrible bitch. aiz! I know lah my family not like him, so happy and all. But i shudnt be feeling this way seh. Wat a ASSHOLE i am! aiz. . . .
Voicing Out @ 10:26 PM
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