have you ever thought of talking to someone you're not comfortable with? did you feel great talking to that person wanting to continue some more? you feel like you can go on talking forever.. you guys have not seen each other for so long.. but then wen you talk.. there isnt any 'oh-no-what-shd-i-say-now' or dead air moments... i dont know.. it feels weird.. but i enjoyed it. thanks..

Fin...

Death

Death Is Here

Like you all knew, I was in camp. I was lepaking with my Teacher Officers Mr Izwandy and Miss Sharon in the canteen, talking about everything under the ceiling. Okie, cut the crapz when I received an sms from Ira.

Bapak has gone. . .

Thats when I freaked out myself and started getting cold feet till cold head. The shiver chill rose from my feet, tingle up my back right into my head. I tot I can feel my ear so cold when I was putting my hp near my ear when I tried to call her many times after receiving the sms.

She didnt pick it up neither did she answered it. Then after a few seconds, she called me back and she was sobbing real hard.. about 20 seconds gitu, she hang up on me. All We both exchanged were tears. I didnt cry but when I heard she crying, i cried too on the phone.

I couldnt sleep the whole night. Mr Izwandy accompanied me till 4.30am where he went off to Sleep while I still stay in Admin Room, Canteen Command Post, Parade Square and even Concourse. I was all alone with a lighter. Once I stroke it, the flame will appear.. bt after sometime either the wind blow it off or it just got smaller and gone. Just like how fragile the life is.

6.30am Big Gate is opened by Security. And I went home. I reached home, Pass the news to my dad and bro. Brother went for the Aerospace thingy and dad said it was expected to receive the news knowing how bad her dad condition is. BAH! I bathed and I nap for an hour. Woke up and went her home. She saw me and pull me into her bedroom and CRIED all she can in my hug! Geez.. MY tears just started flowing down but that I do not call it crying. I just feel for her. I know how she felt. And it is AS IF i am going through this whole process all over again almost 6 yrs ago. After I checked on her, And her family members started flowing in, I have to go .. There were too many people. I told her, if she need me, she can call me. I will be nearby at my workplace. Need to inform the pizza hut peeps who were close to her and we were close.

Then at 12 plus, NPCC peepz coming and so I joined them for it. I was shocked with what I saw.

I was at the opposite block and this is what I saw. The mayat will be going off soon and there were so MANY PEOPLE! Too many PEOPLE! OMG! Im like going.. CRAZY! And I have to take this scene somehow. Forgive me..

After the 1 big bus left, around 10 cars left and a few bikes left for the cemetery, the place abit cool down and yeah, I found Ira with red puffy eyes and saw her mum just crying non-stop. Menyayat Hati seh. Seriously! Aizz..

After that, we sat down and I got to met and know a few people in the family who like cheer Ira up. I mean Do not make the situation any worst for anyone right now. And Ira introduce me to Baby Sirin whom I always got to know through pictures. OMG! So kiut! The light of hope for everyone at the moment coz once she gurgles or smile, everyone goes AAaaaHHH!

Let me introduce you..Baby Sirin and Babe Ima!

After that, Around 4 plus, Pizza Hut peepz Came. I was surprised and touched by their presence. I mean it was last minute and all can came for it. I mean they push aside their outing and dates to just come down and pay ira and ahid a visit and condolences to them. Ira face really lighted up to see this bunch of people walking to her house. Her house was on the first floor btw. We talked and we chatted and when they parted they gave her one big group hug (I mean the girls only..guys cannot!). Aiz.. I saw her holding back her tears.

Then I stay with her till 8 plus pm and dats when I said I go off first. Coz I was not feeling pretty well. Abit under the weather at the moment. Maybe from the lack of sleep. I was not asleep for more then 30+ hours yesterday plus the yesterday yesterday. Remember, I was from camp right?.. Haiz.. Something is stil not settle within me about this whole process. Its my bestfriend. I know very well something is not right IN her. Not the OUTSIDE. I know when we both gonna be alone, she gona really cry and cry and will need a shoulder to cry on. I promise myself I will be there for her as long as possible and as far as GOD allow me.

For now..

Semoga Tuhan mengampun segala dosa dosa Allahyarham Sairi Bin Yusri dan menrahmati Roh nya.

npcc camp

Npcc Camp

As much as i wanted to. Im actually fighting the laziness in me to NOT go for the camp. What can I do beside staying home and rot in bed with my dear notebook and tv all day long and night long. I have to move around right. I must go for the camp. Haha! I have yet to mingle around with my bunch of sec 1 cadets. To much dismay! Haha! Im a back WCI! I guess I got the mindset of I wont be working with them in any time soon or future. Maybe that is why IM slacking behind when it comes to them. Bad mindset I have of them. I should change this thinking if im going to pass out by end of the year.


As much as I wanted to pass out by April, I felt greatly attached to this National Police Cadet Corps. I mean I didnt went all way out to achieve something on my own opinion BUT I guess it is the companion I am in now with the people Im mixing around that brings out the so-called best of me when it come to leadership. I do not know how a LEADER like me gonna marry a LEADER like Fz who I never failed to look on upon till now. Chaotic right?

I wonder when the time will come where I will really leave this whole thing behind me.
For now, IM OFF TO sec 1 NPCC Orientation Camp for 2 days and 1 night! Anything urgent or IF u miss me, do beep me at my mobile phone. IT will be 24 hours switched ON. Haha!

fyna has learnt something new...photoshop...hid has learnt smth abt herself....haha....actually its not smth to laugh about...dunno why i went haha. what the hool. oh realize smtg? hall is pronounced like holl. ok nevermind. what am i doing here again? oh yes. fyn's photoshop. ur brother's one nice...v nice...ours....well...if i block the pic of myself, its nice. dunno lah....i just cant look at my own face. just a mood i guess. anyway, that was nice dude. if i know how to photoshop, i might do it to my pics also. but then...heh heh...dunno how. have yet to learn. someday. k im crapping. photo-shop-ping-pong.heh heh.

hey hey..

my ICT project has come to a finale.. i have created the photoshop masterpiece.. here here.. i dont know what people would think of it but i dont really care. yay. one is orangey picture. the other two is my brother's and sister in law. hehe. they dont know that i am using their pictures. haha. i hope it shows my layered graphics skill. i hope it is enough. i hope its nice. i really learn a lot. yeah so here there are. one by one.


love this one so far.. i thnk its the best ive created...


i think i want to give them a name.. haha.. oh i know.. Shade couple.. thats what they call themselves... so here's ShadeC..


another.. shadeC hahaa..

so there you go.. my project. wish i do well. haha..

i am in the middle of watching "teman anugerahku". so comments will go here. HAHAHA. so far so good. not bad, these guys can act. but then, i spot some illogical factors once again. i think these days i just cant take it if its really a fake. i think its because i have went through JC and am going through uni. and the shows i watch are trying to play around with these institutions. k dah start. jap eh. ok...so far, khairul haven show much potential. but fauzie is showing potential as a bad boy. haha....mother's boy sia......oh my god....that's bad sia....but zul (played by fauzie) has a point ah...like us just now, we lepak at coffee bean...doesnt mean we're doing something bad right...i think izzat's mum's perceptions should be changed...ok...kita tunggu perkembangan selanjutnya. ha ha ha! so..what was saying? well...lets just say so far so good. and it seems that these producers use the same locations as previous dramas. for example, the coffee bean was used for E.C. also last time. ok...izzat's turn to show potential.heh heh heh...he stood up for his friends.hmm....characterization is good seh...very distinctive.and within the first episode also.so who do u say good job to?the scriptwriter.haha!okok...malas nak bual lagi.tataz!
by the way,super great time just now. beach planning up ahead.ahakz.

Nurhidayah -- [adjective]: Smells like teen spirit 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

haha!what the hool?by the way,it changes everytime.haha!so fin,try again!

Nurhidayah -- [noun]: A master of storytelling 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Nurhidayah's lame-ass excuse to break up: "I just can't deal with your past... in the suburbs... all those trees." 'What" is your lame-ass excuse to break up?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You are j'kid. (Your alter-ego is Hidayah) Your super-hero ability: Eat bananas then expel them as nuclear bombs 'What" is your superhero ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com

this is quite funny!

Khilfina -- [noun]: A person who enjoys the smell of rotten eggs 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

haiz.. what the... haah.. i tot ima's one was funny.. den i got mine.. and i was like.. ive got to put this in.. haha..

lame ass excuse

Khilfina's lame-ass excuse to break up: "There is an assassin in my bell tower" 'What" is your lame-ass excuse to break up?' at QuizGalaxy.com

what???

You are Super Princess. (Your alter-ego is Khilfina) Your super-hero ability: Attract any member of the opposite sex 'What" is your superhero ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com

i cant help it!! its funny...hahahahaha....

ok ok ok..

so i was watching tv.. then i saw something abt the chinese new year celebration. then i was thinking abt my d&d.. you know i actually wanted to wear a dress.. then i tot.. want to spend alot. then i tot again.. hey.. its not my graduation la.. so i tot i'll just buy at least slightly much nice clothes that can be worn to a d&d. yeah!!! haha.. maybe a skirt and a top..simple but nice.. takmo over over.. not my graduation.. later my graduation den.. i dress well.. haha. hrmm. thing is.. kat maner eh? this fashion? GIRLS! we're on a mission to find my d&d clothes.. hahah.. haha.. i really want to buy nice shoes tho... i love shoes.. hehhe.. oh.... i was surfin.. looking at nokia fones.. N7360 the L'Amour collection is so pretty.. i checked out the price.. with plan.. 2 yr... N7360 is $168... omg. its so pretty.. haha.. i feel like getting a new phone!!! hahaha.. can i afford? nah.. see first.. haha... siao.. im just a bit crazy now.. just now moody.. now crazy.. hehe.. k deh.. i got presentation tml.. haiz.. this month i present so many times.. ok deh.. thats it... bye bye.. see you tml girls..

quizzez

Ima's lame-ass excuse to break up: "My head hurts when I'm around you" 'What" is your lame-ass excuse to break up?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Ima -- [noun]: A person who laughs at anything (even this entry) 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

L.O.V.E

Ima

Here Without You..

Here Without You!

"Im here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and

I dream about you all the time"

hey hey hey.. da lama aku tak blog.. ok ok .. i got good news for myself!! hahaha.. or for ppl who are 'close' to me. hahha. i change shampoo.. hahah.. !!!!! what the... hahaha.. i noe... its just shampoo... you know how i always complain abt how i hate my messy hair or how little hair i have.. hahhaha.. k i bot Clairol's Natural Volume nyer shampoo.. dun laugh dun laugh.. i somehow have this feeling that someone is going to laugh.. yeah... it smells GREAT!!i keep smelling my hair!! hahahah..i cant help it... it smells very the nice... and its my hair!!! hahah.. so i hope there will be some volume la.. at least at the 'little hair' zone(s). ahhahaha... omg.. im addicted to smelling my hair.. ahhaha!!! ewww.. ahahha.. it smells great ok! oh ya.. but i cant guarantee that my hair would be neat.. i think it will still be messy.. hahaha.. im trying tho... hahaha... smells.. great... you know as im typing this.. i take short smells of my hair.. hahahah... im crazy.. hahaha.. sedap seh bau.. hhheheeh... ok ok.. so nx week WE ALL HAVING HOLIDAY!!! unlike last sem whr my hols is one wk earlier than hid's. yay!!!! semua pun holiday.. blajar blajar blajar... ye lah tu.. say study study.. later duno what i study oso.. hahaha... thats why i made myself a timetable noe? yeah.. so tml da monday.. cepat seh!!!!! heheh... ok ok .. dun forget to smell my hair the next time you see me.. hehehee... SEEE YOU!!!!!

FINA!!!!

here without you

I think about you baby and
I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.



Today I went to teach tuition in the morning as usual. The young lady was throwing her tantrums around. Writing in big sizes when she did her problem sums and throw things here and there. I was so patience that I could have exploded on her. But luckily the younger lady was behaving pretty well. When I taught her to read, she can pick it up pretty easily. :)


I put that song on top coz when Fz fetched me from Yishun, that song was on air. Then, half way through when we were about to leave his carpark at BP, that song was being played again!! Then when we came back from our shopping and it was raining like cats and dogs and almost kena langgar by a taxi for cutting our car, that song was being played again! ! !
And I kind of get hook to it now! Haha! Im Here WIthout YOu Baby..


When I went out with him, I got myself a PHILIPS 10-in-1 Salon Geometricks. Fz got it for me. He was shopping for the office some stuffs and he saw me lingering around the corner where all this thingy is there and he said, PICK ONE dear.. I looked up at him and asked, are u sure?And he just do not mind about it. Im like going.. Geezz! I really need to get my surprise done up for him now! I Badly need that surprise plan of mine to work and be ready. And that thing cost like $70?! Bleark! Haha!





After shopping, put all the things in the car and off home. He looked happy and so am I. And we keep singing to the song again and again! We both got hooked up to it oredi. Fun Day! Den I checked my letter box and I found my debit card being posted to me! I was like so happy! Haha!
Tada.. I have to cover up my numbers right. Haha!





Okie, A happy day..LAter On Need to go to GIANT with my dad to do our monthly groceries at GIANT. Haha! Another round of shopping and its gona be for my tummy this time round!

Love..Ima

Its The WeekenD PeoPLe!

its The WeekeNd

where are you guys? Im online and you guys are not and it is the weekend you know?!

Hid busy with school ke? Fyn busy ngan Ham ke?

Ima so busy. I must wrote this down okie.. .. .. ..

Did you guys know that I actually got the urge to rush home today after training?

I actually almost went home but the other cis said do not be a spoil sport and join them for dinner. So I go with them. I ate my meal and I was the first to go home!

I just have the URGE to go home and just lie in bed and rot in front of the tv you know!

I felt like really want to go HOME!

As in REALLY want to go home!

I just want to reach home and be in my cosy room!

Just be with my tv and do not go anywhere!

Okie. That is so NOT me! Seriously, I do not want to rush home.

I do not like to rush home when Im out.

But I think ever since my FYP has ended, I have changed a bit more.

I rather learnt that HOME is the best place now that Im not busy.

Once I am busy, I could not be rotting at home and enjoy my pleasure time!

So you see, if you guys ask me out and it is gona end late,

You will see me saying NO to you all.

I do not know why lah, I prefer just staying at home and chill alone.

Enjoy the peace and etc.

I do not tink I will get bored.

Where are you guys?Its the weekend. Geez.. Im going to watch PANAMA SURVIVOR!

I love my bed more and I cherish my free time better now!

I know once I reach the moment of working 9-5pm later on, I know I will not be able to enjoy all this leisure moments anymore.

Its gona be work,work,work,work,work,work,work,work,work,work,work,work! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Okie, one more thing I need to write down.
Im quite upset with peepz around me. I felt like they are looking down on me or something. I find the word, 'kolot', if you asked me.
Just because I want to work after getting diploma,save money and get married and have my own family. Issit something wrong of me to do this for myself? They were talking about studying and applying for degrees and etc and just further studying and when I said whats my plan. I can just felt the reactions they had for me. And It is kinda of demoralising me. And it made me think twice whtr I should continue studying instead and postpone those plan of mine of working,saving money and get married.



But I do not want that. What i really want is work,save money and get married. Issit something wrong to be this way? I do not know peepz. Like I said, it is demoralising for me on my side and i know very well that mr boyfriend has been comforting me about it and It is not helping me either. I just feel confused and sad. I just do not want to study anymore but people around me are studying. All moving forward and not being 'kolot' like me. Sometime I do not see why I should study so long and end up working shorter time and in the end stop working and be a housewife. I do not know you know.. .. ..All I want is to be a mum and a good wife to someone. And Im hoping too much and too alot and too high that that someone will be mr Fairuz. Im so freaky broken into pieces if something like that just never get into plan and happened. Coz right now, the way mr Fairuz has been treating me ever since the BIG fight last yr, he treated me like Miss Princess and Miss girlfriend of his that he just could not lose. I feel good but too much of it and IF he hurt me, I do not know the consequences of it.



I hope GOD bless this relationship of ours. :)

It is nothing wrong right to work and save money and get married?
It is not wrong right to not further study anymore?
It is not wrong to be satisfied for now for me right?

:"(.. Kolot ke aku?

hello. i've got a question. but first, a disclaimer.

1: I have no eating disorders.
2: I have no eating disorders.

and here's the magnificent question which I think I can answer but I purposely want a scientific answer. haha

why do we puke? by the way, this is the colour of my puke. thats why im using this colour. haha. are you grossed out yet???

well ive already done a mental note, but just as a precaution, im doing a blog note too. bandung and nasi goreng ayam DO NOT mix. unless i wanna end up having a stomach ache, headache and puking. yup. thats for today.

someone remind me to tell about the KFC drama next time. gotta run. ciao.

Hid, Fyn,Ham..

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Ima

click on the link and do it for me.

DO IT FOR ME! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

ThankIez . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

>>>School Has Close Down!<<<

This is an annoucement Ima is making..

Kalau IKOT plan dia,

memang school has come

to the END for IMA!

No more books AND notes!

No more lecturers AND exams!

No more projects AND presentations!

No more going for classes AND lectures!

No more SCHOOL LIFE!

I know I will be screaming

for school life

ONCE

I start working full time

BUT

let me ENJOY the thoughts

of NO SCHOOL anymore in my life!

:)

Lurve

IMA!

haven't been here in a while. just gonna put a few points down. sorry if im gonna offend anyone. really sorry. just that im not exactly having a great day or week or month or semester.

this might offend some people, but i wanna let it out anyway. honesty is my policy.

v day is 'whateVer day'. serious i just didnt have a good day. my spirits were ultra down.

here's the next thing. no one can discourage you more than a teacher can. im on the verge of giving up. im on the verge of breaking down. im tired of failing.

if there was any highlight at all for today, there was only one. the engin guy talked to me. after that, not much of point highlighting. well...actually he just asked me a question lah. but well...haiz...my spirits are so down. its like a waterfall, constantly going and falling to the ground. i didnt mention any of these. i mean i dun even blog this semester, how to complain. but im not exactly having an easy time. the only thing that is keeping me alive is the presence of all of u. and my ever delightful jebat kasturi. we're barney's dancing and singing partners.

just now i just found out some stuff. first, there's a fee hike for ppl in my sch. and the hike made me notice just how expensive my education is. as of next academic year, i'll be paying like $12, 200 for my education. it just hit me that i am paying a lot. and it would be a waste of money if i fail. not only did i realize the expensiveness of my education, i also realized that i need to pull my socks. ppl prob think im still in sec sch because im not matured enough. where is that level of maturity in me that i, as an undergraduate, am supposed to have? haiz...

ladies and gentlemen, im sorry if i just bored, offended or hurt u. im just feeling kinda sad and discouraged right now....and i suddenly miss my grandfather....

Happy Valentine Day


Obviously Fyn and Hid knew oredi what I got..


But let me correct You..We do not really celebrate that event. Haha!
The card written on it was..


Dear ------


Happy Belated Anniversary To You!


Lots of Love,
-------
14th February 2006



Haha! ----- coz it is a nick we called each other lah which I do not think you guys wana noe what it is lah.
Haha! Usually We just get into the mood of V day also lah but we do not celebrate it but just kind of combined it as one event though. He actually made me sad on our last monthniversary but I was cool lah. Haha! Den I was off guard liao haha! A bouquet of SUNFLOWER(my FAV. flower!) and rocher and greeting card! Love Him!



Lots of Love,
Ima
(On CLOUD 9)

Pictures!!!!

hehe...


us ladies


my picture of the day!!! hehehe..


qing and hid..


our dear salimah and paul..


omg.. robber..


bowling.. heheh..

enuff?? enuf?? go my multiply lla huh? for those who are not in my contacts.. aske me for the pasword ya! hehehe.. mwah! love you guys....

thank you peeps for coming yesterday! 11th feb 2006.. ORANGEY Ham's belated 20th birthday celebration.. *smiles* ...

Fin

Ever Remember?

Check This OUT!

Ever remember long long time ago..

There was this sitcom called FRIENDS!

Haha! Do you viewers know that it is now

has a new season coming up with new stories and new characters!?

Check this OUT!

Hahaha!

Okie, DO NOT SUE US!

I just cant help it when I saw this senget picture of us..

It make me ponder, where the hell I saw the same thing before..

Haha! Den I remembered the FRIENDS sitcom!

Cool Yeah!

Lets start our own tv production yeah..

-ORANGEY FRIENDZ-

~Happy Birthday To Hamidi~

And The Weekend Is HERE.. .. ..

I did nothing much. I was in school by 9am. Yawnn..with the group leader. His part still not done yet till now and I am almost finishing the index page. :)
With my group mates till 12 plus. And found out that Shafiq actually might be singing enjet enjet semut song when he is stress! Haha! Okie, I assumed only but dont know whether true or not. But the way Win Hung sound it is like that song lah. So, a moment of craziness befall on us when I was rushing Shafiq! Haha! We took photos and I like this one the best.. .. .. Maybe due to the fact either that someone isnt there and i tink you guys know how the person is and that is why im smiling so wide.. .. .. ..



After which I went home.. after which received sms saying recce was cancel due to the bad weather. Geez! Why didnt they sms me earlier so I do not have to go home so early from school. Aiz.. Since I was home, I actually go find Ira and dragged her to Far East Plaza to get my shoe! And I got it.. Here it goes.. .. ..



Nice?..Doesnt matter your opinion okie, coz I like it myself! Haha! That is all for today.

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

ladies,
sabar k?

well..hey..fyn was mad abt some things to do with blood relation. Well, i was abit shake head just now after received a call frm grandma askin how is my dad.



Well for ur info, my dad lost both of his hearing. Last yr he lost his right hearing and now, recently he losing his left hearing. he can only hear like around 1-2% only. And yeah, we thought the last appointment, he could his hearing aid but i was so wrong. Well, first, the doctor suspect.. okie.. I HATE it when people start suspecting things! SUSPECT he got either tumor growing or cancer?!!!! okie, that word realli strike right deep into my heart! But doctor not sure.. he main shoot aje. So he suggest my dad go for a scan to look inside his head. So okie, the next scan on the 16 Feb and it cost $480! just the scan mind YOU! arrggh!




I hope the result should be fine. And my dad will get his hearing aid soon.



what i dislike or shake head about my grandma is dat.. Im not trying to bitch about her or gossip but i really dun like this one attitude of hers.



Obviously my brother and my dad has some difficulties to get along. Biasa lah, lelaki and lelaki.. kepala batu sama pukul rata punya.. dua dua nak menang ar.. so my grandma said.. ni adik kau lah ni punya pasal, bapak kau dah sakit gitu.. and she said it alot of time!! Geezz.. Im like going Hmmm and ahhh.. and i didnt said yesh or no.. i lazy ar.. I mean she said it in a nice way lah.. but somehow imagine if my brother were to hear it.. tak ke kecewa budak tu.. dah lah dia tu ngah growing up.. and hid, knowing how so-called 'noti' my bro now.. i really dun tink family are helping in our current situation now! Geezz..



Why cant dey said like ni semua dugaan.. atau..meman dah takdir atau meman dah sakit tua or it is from GOD oredi.. why seek for the cause of it and especially when we all know it is not right at all.. aiz..




that explains to why me and my bro are not that close with my dad side.. just duno lah.. dun really like it ar.. family, cant live without them.. cant live with them..




*Sigh* Ima..